If Not For Us
by MusicAddict91
Summary: America's been dragged along to a naval conference, and gets fed up with certain people trash-talking himself and his friends. Human and nation names used. Rated for one instance of swearing. Brief Scotland and Australia cameos.


America looked around at the conference, not sure what to do. He really hated these formal conferences that involved what he called "rubber chicken dinners"; he always had to dress up in a suit. Suits were more Britain's thing than his - give him a tee shirt and jeans any day.

Speaking of whom, he spotted Britain talking with his brother and approached, only to hear Britain remark, "Forgive me, Matthew, but your brother is without question the most obnoxious, ignorant and rude individual here." America felt his grip tightening on his plate, and made a quick decision to turn and walk away before he caused a scene getting into a fight with Britain. His boss would kick his ass later if he did that. Spotting Britain's brother Scotland at the bar, America suddenly got an idea and walked up to the red head, saying, "Yo, Scotland, what's up?" Scotland glared at the American before grousing, "What do you want, America?"

"I was just curious about something. Britain told me the unicorn on the royal seal was his idea. Has he always been that obsessed with fairytale creatures?"

Apparently, Scotland ceased listening after the words "his idea", because he roared, "What?! That little snot-nosed shite!" Scotland looked around and stormed off towards Britain, a murderous look in his eye. America, meanwhile, just grinned and walked away. He had been completely honest with the Scotsman - Britain had told him that...when Alfred was a kid.

A few hours later, he noticed Canada, Australia, and Britain all in a group, frowning at France. Curious, America approached. As he got closer, he heard France complaining about Americans only spoke English while Europeans usually learned at least one other language than their own. Suddenly France added, "And why can't we ever speak French at these conferences? It's ridiculous. I'm part of the conference too, am I not? And English is such a crude language." Britain looked like he was about to start a fight with France, but America slapped a hand over the smaller nation and smiled cheekily at France, retorting, "If I could put in my two cents here. Maybe the reason we speak English at these conferences is 'cause us Brits, Aussies, Canadians and Americans helped make it so you and your people wouldn't have to speak German."

France frowned in confusion for a moment before his eyes widened slightly in understanding. Having the decency to look like he had just been scolded, the Frenchman looked away and took a sip of his wine. Grinning, America turned to leave before Australia caught him around the neck and whooped, "Good on ya, mate. I was starting to think he'd never shut up."

"Yeah, well...France never seems completely happy unless he's hazing someone or got something to complain about," America replied.

"Too right," Britain remarked, watching the country in question leave to talk with some of the French officials.

"He's not all that bad," Canada spoke up gently.

"Maybe not to you. He has no problems complaining about and arguing with the rest of us," America pointed out.

So I was reading through some old emails figuring out what to get rid of, and I was reading one about an admiral or some high ranking officer from the US Navy who went to a naval conference and heard a French representative giving the others flak about never speaking French at the conferences. So the officer pointed out that if it weren't for the English speaking countries like England, Canada, the US, Australia and New Zealand, the French would have most likely been thoroughly beaten by the Germans in WWII and would probably be speaking German as a result.

Whether this happened or not, I don't know, but I thought it would make for an interesting story or situation to put the characters in. I'm not writing this to say the US are the best, but if you look at a lot of American history, the US has (arguably) only lost one or two wars in its relatively short history as a nation - yeah, we've had our butts kicked in too many battles to count, but we have this ridiculously uncanny ability to pick ourselves up and come back from a defeat (personally, I think it's due to sheer stubbornness and a certain amount of insanity).

And before anyone gives me grief about it, I KNOW AMERICA IS OOC. I know how he is in the show, but what has been pointed out time and time again on the show is that we Americans are VERY patriotic. And this is true - we have this habit of taking any insult to the country personally, and we do not take that sort of thing lightly unless it's said in a very joking tone or way. So I imagine America as becoming a very serious, big jerk when he hears people hating on his country or people or his friends.


End file.
